FIND

I find you in the perfume left on the pillow,
In the flavors of hearty meals;
Between warm arms and moist lips.
Playing games and fantasies.

I find you when I don't want to hide;
When I am brave, after I survive.
I find you in the morning air, in the silence...
In the cigarettes I roll, but not within their smoke.

I find you when I laugh, when I'm angry, when I cry...
When rain sings over the sun that shines.
I find you in the waves of the ocean,
In the cold sand at night, with wind blowing through
Every memory I have.

But I smell you in my bruises, too;
In crispy blood traces.
I feel you in every poisonous bite,
Between bliss and horror.
I see you when all I want is to disappear.

When I am not brave, when I don't survive,
I hold you in the void of my chaos;
In the smoke of wildfires.
I bleed you when I'm reckless,
When the moon is full and shines.
I carry you in the tall trees behind suffocating cities,
In the graves under our feet.

I come alive with the unexpected,
Within the uncertainty that binds paradoxes,
Because it is you who quiets echoes of loss.

your voice
my only way
back home